My name is an unusual one.
My father chose it. He named me after the heroine in the Winter’s Tale by William Shakespeare. According to him she is one of Shakespeare’s most beautiful characters. She was a king’s daughter.
In a nutshell: the king suspected his wife of adultery, so he sentenced her to death and banished poor little Perdita. She ended up in a shepherd’s family. Her defining characteristic was that she loved nature and was always true to her royal nature despite her humble upbringing. She eventually fell in love with a prince and found her way back to her father’s kingdom where she re-united her family (turns out that her mother had been saved and kept alive by her ladies-in-waiting) so it all ended well for all concerned. So not such a bad name to have.
Growing up though, I didn’t like my name at all, because it means: “Lost Child”. “Lost” as in damned! Charming! Being quite a religious creature being damned didn’t appeal to me.
This all changed when I was in my forties.
On hearing my name and its meaning a woman I had just met, blurted out: “Why on earth would one call a child that?”
“I have no idea! “I said.
“Who called you that?”
“My father, “I said, filled with shame.
“Is he still alive?”
“Why don’t you ask him?” she said.
I remember thinking: now there’s a novel thought – why don’t I? I did and heard the story of The Winter’s Tale for the first time.
By that stage I had begun a process of healing and self-knowledge, so I was quite delighted with my given name considering that I too have a deep and abiding love of Nature. For example, I don’t wear make-up, preferring to be as natural as possible.
During a transformation workshop to determine my life purpose I had ended up with a mission statement for my life:
“I intend to serve Mother Earth by showing her children the way back to God using the power of compassion, humour and openness so that we can all live as a happy family.”
I promptly decided my name is perfect for who I am in this lifetime and from that moment onwards I took my unique name “Perdita” back.
It was also fitting because of my own birth and early infancy:
My birth was apparently quite horrendous – sixteen hours long without any form of pain relief for my mother (and me).
When I was nine months old my mother had a nervous breakdown and was hospitalized for a few months leaving me feeling like the poster girl of lost children!
During another transformation workshop I underwent a process and released the guilt I was carrying – the belief that I had caused my mother’s suffering and illness. During the process I uncovered that I was, in fact, a gift of healing. I was born so that my mother would get help. This is exactly what happened. She had treatment and had no challenges with her two subsequent births. Her depression and anxiety and breakdown understandably did leave me feeling abandoned and yearning for touch and love for most of my life though.
Hilarious really: I am the Lost Child who shows the way
Some people do still struggle with my transition from “Diets” (a derivative of “Dita “) to “Perdita”. To this day I remain “Diets” or “Dietsie”, for some, but in my heart and soul I am proudly “Perdita”: come to show the way and re-unite humanity.
Having such an unusual name can be a daunting when you meet people for the first time, but I have (with my husband’s help) worked out an icebreaker to overcome any discomfort.
There is another famous Perdita too – Pongo’s wife in “The 101 Dalmatians” so I always tell people I am named after the heroine in The Winter’s Tale so if they like classics they can go for Shakespeare. If they prefer something more informal, they can choose Walt Disney’s “101 Dalmatians “(you remember the spotty dogs who almost end up as coats for Cruella Deville?) My darling husband then often quips: “Princess or Bitch”, which is normally good for at least a chuckle and makes for a memorable introduction.
I do still have to repeat my name once or twice sometimes, but often the origin story of my name sticks and helps people to remember my name.
You might have gathered or read between the lines that my father and I did not have the best of relationships. I mean the fact that I took forty odd years to ask why he named me “Perdita” is kind of a give-away. He passed away a few years ago at the ripe old age of 96. There are still some aspects of my relationship with him that I need to process, but my name is not one of them.
When I heard that my daughter was thinking of naming my first granddaughter after me, but that her husband was not at all keen because he found it a “weird” name, I thought: dude, I do understand. It is different, but all in all, rather beautiful. I was obviously touched that she wanted to name her firstborn after me, but decided to adopt a wait and see attitude
Naming her daughter was a serious business for my amazing, loving and very creative daughter. She was an English teacher by profession before her daughter was born and she decided to become a stay-at-home mom. She also has a degree in drama and is a very accomplished director of teenage plays. No wonder then that Shakespeare and the beautiful, poignant story of” The Winter’s Tale “appeals greatly to her.
I always maintain she was born wise!
She found a way to honour her own and her husband’s wishes opting for naming her daughter after her husband’s maternal grandmother (by all accounts a formidable and very talented woman) with whom her husband has strong bonds. And decreeing that the baby’s second name would be:” Perdita”.
As of 23 October 2024, I am blessed to be a grandmother.
Esmé Perdita Julyan made her appearance on this planet at 7h54 in the morning just as my daughter’s pupils (now ex-pupils) prayed for her safe arrival.
Her birth is surely one of the highlights of my life so far. I was blessed to be invited to part of my daughter’s birthing plans and although I could not physically attend her birth because it was decided that a caesarean birth was the way to go, I had a lot of fun reading up on natural birth and all things doula. We used the fairy lights and artificial candles in their room after the birth and the sparkly Sippy cup, fluids and ice came in just as handy after the birth.
Rocking my precious granddaughter to sleep, feeling her tiny body relax and sink into mine in total trust I know that all I lost in my own birth and infanthood has been found in the birth of my own beloved daughter and now profoundly and gloriously in the love of my granddaughter who bears my name.
perditablog 