My name is unusual.  “Perdita” means “Lost Child”.

When I first introduce myself, people invariably do a double take and try a few versions of my name on for size. So I have taken to telling them what my name means and that I was named after the heroine in “The Winter’s Tale” by William Shakespeare.

I then add that the other well-known “Perdita” is the mother dog in Walt Disney’s “101 Dalmations ” ie. Pongo’s wife. This is normally a very good ice-breaker, especially if my partner is on hand to add: “Princess or bitch – your choice”!

Recently, for various reasons, I have been feeling lost, pondering about my family of origin and the significance of my name.

Growing up, I was seldom called by my given name. Those closest to me called me “Diets” or “Dietsie” whilst member’s of the extended family (both maternal and paternal) chose to shorten my birth name to ”Dita”.

At the age of forty, a relative stranger asked me why I was called “Perdita” exclaiming in horror : “ Why on earth would one call someone :”Lost Child”? “

I remember feeling startled and realizing for, at the time, religious reasons – I was actually uncomfortable with the name on some level, because the root of the “lost” was “perdition” as in damned!  There I was on the road to hell and all!  It didn’t help that people often chortled :”I’m sure you have been found” or something to that effect. Or worse still, knew about the  going to hell thing…

The stranger proceeded to ask me: “Who on earth called you that?”

I replied: “My father”.

“Is he dead?” the stranger asked, to which I replied that he was very much alive.

“So, why don’t you ask him?” my stranger said.

So I thought – why don’t I?

My father believes “Perdita” to be one of Shakespeare’s most beautiful female characters. She was a king’s daughter (hence my partner’s “princess”!). The king suspected his wife of adultery, promptly sentenced her to death and banished the baby.  Little Perdita grew up in a shepherd’s family, was always true to her royal heritage and LOVED nature.

She fell in love with a prince and found her way back to her father’s court (“seker om ouers te vra!”). It turned out that her mother had been kept alive by her ladies-in-waiting, all was forgiven, the family re-united and everyone lived happily ever after! Yay!

This made me feel a hell of a lot better! Even in religious terms, it put a whole new slant on things- what with me really being a king’s daughter, if you know what I mean, wink, wink, nudge, nudge!

Here’s the freaky thing though: I went on some transformation courses, played some games that showed me how I conducted myself in life and learnt that somewhere along the line, I had chosen to play small, to give my power away and a whole lot of other silly goose things!

So I proceeded to bewilder my brothers and all who know me, by re-claiming my birth name (and I believe with it, my power).

I learnt something really amusing : I came to show the Way.  Divine sense of humour, don’t you think?  A “lost child” showing the way!

So here I am. The longing of my heart is that the whole of humanity be a family. Not just any family though – a happy family- one in which diversity and individuality are celebrated. Also one in which there are bonds of love, support and belonging and all those lovely things.

Where to start? Well, as they say, charity begins at home.